Why Talking and Listening Matter More Than Ever
When we think about children’s learning, it is easy to picture reading books, writing sentences or completing carefully planned activities.
But underneath all of these sits something even more fundamental: communication.
Children develop ideas by talking, listening, watching, questioning, explaining, pretending and responding to other people. Long before an idea appears on paper, it is often explored through conversation and play.
Recent government guidance and the Curriculum and Assessment Review have placed renewed attention on these skills. This does not mean that families need to recreate a classroom at home. In fact, many of the most valuable opportunities for developing communication already happen naturally during ordinary family life.
Communication is more than speaking
The Curriculum and Assessment Review uses the word oracy to include speaking, listening and communication. Importantly, it recognises verbal communication alongside sign language, non-verbal communication and Alternative and Augmentative Communication, often known as AAC.
This broader definition matters.
Not every child communicates in the same way. One child may tell a detailed story aloud, while another uses gestures, pictures, signs, a communication device or carefully chosen words. A child may be very confident when discussing a favourite interest but need more time when responding to an unexpected question.
These are not lesser forms of participation. They are different ways of expressing ideas, making connections and joining a conversation.
The review recommends giving speaking and listening a more prominent place within English, strengthening drama and developing a clearer framework for oracy throughout education. It also acknowledges that communication supports learning and life beyond the classroom.
Conversation creates foundations for learning
Early years guidance describes back-and-forth interaction as a foundation for language and mental development. It emphasises the importance of regular, good-quality conversations with both adults and other children.
This does not mean continuously questioning a child or correcting every sentence.
Language can be supported gently by:
noticing what has caught the child’s interest
commenting on what they are doing
repeating their idea and adding a little new vocabulary
allowing enough time for them to respond
listening as though their contribution genuinely matters
A child who says, “The dragon is hiding,” does not need an immediate lesson about adjectives. An adult might simply respond, “Yes—the enormous green dragon is hiding behind the castle.”
The child’s idea remains at the centre, but they have also heard new language used meaningfully.
Government guidance also advises adults to pause and give children time to process and respond. It suggests that comments can sometimes be more helpful than a stream of questions.
Play gives language a reason to exist
Children need reasons to communicate.
During pretend play, storytelling and shared activities, language has a genuine purpose. Children might explain the rules of a game, negotiate who will play each character, describe a mysterious object, solve a disagreement between puppets or decide what should happen next in a story.
The early years guidance says that play is often one of the best ways for children to explore new words in meaningful situations. It specifically connects language development with conversation, storytelling, role play, small-world play, creativity and problem-solving.
These experiences are valuable beyond the early years. Older children can also benefit from drama, imaginative scenarios, debate, shared storytelling and opportunities to explain their thinking without first having to write it down.
Play does not have an age limit. It can mean experimenting, creating, discussing, imagining, performing or investigating—and all of these can encourage rich communication.
Listening deserves equal attention
Good communication is not only about finding the confidence to speak. Children also learn to notice other people’s ideas, wait, respond appropriately and change their thinking when they hear something new.
Listening activities do not have to feel like lessons. Families might:
take a listening walk and compare the sounds they noticed
tell a story one sentence at a time
describe an object without naming it
listen for a particular word during a story
talk about how two people viewed the same event differently
use puppets to explore a disagreement
take turns asking questions about a favourite subject
When children feel heard themselves, they are often more motivated to listen to others. Government guidance therefore encourages adults to notice children’s interests, respond warmly and demonstrate active listening during play.
What does this mean for families?
It means that the conversations already happening in your home have real educational value.
Talking while cooking, inventing stories in the car, discussing a television character’s decision, playing with figures, performing a puppet show or wondering together about something seen outside can all support language development.
You do not need to dominate the conversation or turn every moment into a teaching opportunity. Sometimes the most useful thing an adult can do is become interested, offer one gentle prompt and then leave enough space for the child’s ideas to grow.
At Why Play Learning, this belief sits at the heart of our Communication Series. The activities encourage children to talk, listen, imagine and share ideas in ways that suit them.
The free first book, Let’s Talk, offers ten activities for families who would like to try the approach.
Book Two, Tell Me More, develops this through 30 activities involving everyday conversations, storytelling games, listening, performance, pretend play and thinking together.
The books are resources, not rules. Their purpose is simply to help create moments in which communication can happen naturally.
Because every conversation does not need to become a lesson—but every child deserves the chance to feel that their voice matters.
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